Funk Soul Brothers
by Psychedelicate Poltergeist
Summary: With Kazuichi's strange behaviour towards him in mind, Hajime wonders if he is the target of his soul friend's affections.


_This is a quick little Soudahina oneshot written for the Rarepair Challenge on Danganronpa Amino! Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Funk Soul Brothers**

"I just don't get it. What could this all mean…?"

Ibuki giggled a little as she grinned up at Hajime. "Ibuki knows the answer, but she thinks it'd be more fun to let you figure it out!"

"Well gee, that's real helpful," Hajime groaned as he took a sip out of the glass of orange juice in front of him.

It was weird. Just earlier that afternoon, Hajime had casually asked his closest friend, Kazuichi, if he'd like to strip down and swim with him in the ocean surrounding Jabberwock Island. But Kazuichi's response to this was rather unusual - he'd at first expressed an astonishing interest in getting naked with Hajime, before spluttering into a confused mess and taking back his initial response. Ever since, he'd been behaving quite oddly - odd even by Kazuichi standards.

"I mean, who even calls a casual hangout a "man date"?" Hajime continued. "That just sounds…"

"Gay?" Ibuki quipped.

"I'm not sure if that's the right way to put it, but… yeah, I guess that sounds about right."

Ibuki straightened her posture and crossed her arms, smirking at Hajime as though she knew something that he didn't. "Ibuki will tell you what she thinks, then," she announced. "Based on what Ibuki has heard from you, maybe Kazuichi is questioning his sexuality."

Hajime thanked his lucky stars that he wasn't sipping his cold beverage by that point; otherwise he would've done a spit take that would probably end up being needlessly dramatic. "S-so you think he might be… gay?" he choked out in disbelief.

"Maybe not gay, no," Ibuki replied. "He's obviously interested in girls too! Unless he only does it for jokesies like Ibuki does, but I doubt it!"

"Wait, you…?"

Ibuki giggled, her eyes shining with mirth. Hajime felt her legs inadvertently collide with his under the table as she swung them energetically. "Didn't Ibuki ever tell you? She's asexual! You know what that means, don't you?"

"I think so…" Hajime pushed his chair back slightly. "I just never thought of you as one of those people, is all."

"That's the thing about people - they all come with surprises! If a girl who jokes about lesbian relationships is asexual, then chances are that the resident punk guy who's pining after the Ultimate Princess is secretly gay or bi!"

"You raise a good point…" Hajime slurped the last of his orange juice, then rose to his feet and pushed his chair in. "Thanks, Ibuki. I think I understand a little more now."

"Anytime! Ibuki's always here if you need anything else!"

Hajime smiled gratefully at her. "That's good to know. I'll see you around, then."

"Bye-bye!" Ibuki called out as Hajime began to walk away, waving enthusiastically behind him.

* * *

When Hajime had next encountered Kazuichi later that afternoon, the latter had asked of him an odd request that Hajime was certain confirmed Ibuki's suspicions.

The Ultimate Mechanic was lounging on a beach chair in front of the ocean, dreamily gazing at Sonia swimming with a few of the other girls in the water - namely, Chiaki, Akane, Peko and Ibuki. Strangely, he was dressed in his usual murky yellow jumpsuit and worn-out sneakers, as opposed to simply a pair of trunks.

Hajime took a seat beside him. "Aren't you going to try to go in with her?" he inquired. "I mean, she's wearing that swimsuit you really like…"

"Just watchin' is enough for me, bro," Kazuichi replied, not tearing his focus away from Sonia's figure in the water. "'Sides, remember the last time I tried to invite myself to her beach party with the girls?"

"Good point," said Hajime, finding himself staring at Chiaki before he could stop himself. She was holding onto a round, pink floatie, leaning forward with her elbows on either side of it as she chatted and giggled along with her female companions. Hajime couldn't judge whether it was fortunate or unfortunate that the water obscured more than half of her bikini-clad body.

"...hey, Hajime," Kazuichi spoke, snapping him out of his reverie.

"Yeah?"

Kazuichi steadied his balance with one hand and anxiously scratched the back of his head with the other. "I was just wondering… can I practise my kissing on you? I'm worried Miss Sonia won't think I'm a good kisser…"

 _Right, keep telling yourself that,_ Hajime thought, narrowing his eyes. He wanted to point out that Sonia probably didn't want his kisses to begin with, but he figured it was best not to be too discouraging.

"Well… I haven't even had my first kiss yet, Kazuichi," Hajime responded slowly.

"Neither have I!" Kazuichi hastily claimed, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks.. "That's why I want my first kiss with a girl to really mean something for both me and her!"

"...and you want to use me as a testing dummy, is that right?"

"If you don't mind, 'course…"

"You do know that the girls aren't that far from us, right?" Hajime asked, concerned.

"I don't think they'll see," Kazuichi reassured him. "They look like they're real busy with each other, y'know."

 _That came out wrong,_ Hajime thought, mildly amused. As he weighed his options, he wondered if it would be best to let Kazuichi have his fun and kiss him, regardless of the reasonings behind it. The thought of being kissed by another male, let alone his closest companion on the island besides Chiaki, caused him to feel awkward and uneasy; regardless, Kazuichi really did seem to be questioning his sexuality, as Ibuki had theorised. It would probably be best to help him out however he could.

In the end, he hoped that this questioning stage wouldn't last too much longer. He didn't care who Kazuichi liked or what their gender was. Kazuichi was Kazuichi, and that would never change.

"Alright," he eventually agreed. "Let's do this."

Kazuichi's eyes lit up with excitement as though he were a child on Christmas morning. Needless to say, Hajime was not prepared for Kazuichi's hands to suddenly and impulsively cup around his chin and pull him close to Kazuichi until their mouths met.

Hajime could've sworn his cheeks had burst into flames while Kazuichi was persistently pressing his mouth against his, placing his hands on the beach chair where Hajime sat in order to balance himself. Aside from the faint hope that the girls in the ocean weren't watching them, Hajime's mind had gone completely blank. He simply sat in shock, his eyes wide open as Kazuichi ran the show, sliding his tongue against Hajime's lips-

 _Wait, when did tongue get involved? I never agreed to that…_

Kazuichi's lips abruptly tore themselves away from Hajime, and the mechanic leapt away from him like a hot potato, his face bright red in embarrassment and humiliation. With the fear that someone had seen them pulling him into high alert, Hajime quickly looked around him, only to find that no one had their eyes on them. The girls in the ocean were still highly engaged with one another, and no one else was around.

"Shit, I'm so sorry, dude!" Kazuichi squeaked, as he pulled his beanie the furthest down it could possibly go in a futile attempt to conceal his intense blush. "I-I didn't mean to do tongue!"

"It's fine, Kazuichi, just-"

"I need to take care of something! Seeya later dude!" Kazuichi ran off before Hajime could protest.

He could only conclude that they were getting somewhere in this whole questioning business.

* * *

From that incident forward, Kazuichi began to give Hajime what he could only dub the "Sonia Treatment" - which was to say, he made an effort to hang out with Hajime and talk about him as much as possible, and way more often than usual. He'd even almost completely failed to acknowledge Sonia's existence, much to her relief. It all quickly became obvious enough for almost everyone else to notice. Many of the other students questioned him regarding Kazuichi's sudden clinginess, and as he explained to Gundam that no, Kazuichi had not been cursed with any horrifying jinxes (he certainly hoped not) he saw Ibuki giving him a thumbs-up from the corner of his eye.

It didn't take a detective to figure out exactly what was going on here. Hajime had played enough dating sims with Chiaki to know what exactly this behaviour signified.

"Kazuichi, please be completely honest with me," he began one afternoon, as the two of them rested in Kazuichi's cottage. "You have a crush on me, don't you?"

Kazuichi froze, and Hajime was met with a stunned silence. He raised an eyebrow in mock-curiosity. "Well?"

"W-was it really that obvious!?" Kazuichi spluttered, smothering his face in his hands in order to hide his reddening cheeks.

"I knew it," said Hajime, smirking at his friend.

Kazuichi gulped as he turned away from Hajime, embarrassed. "You don't think any differently of me, right?" he choked out.

"Of course not. I'm not so sure about my own feelings for you - I might return them, I might not - but we're still close, aren't we?"

"Yeah…" Kazuichi slowly faced Hajime again, bearing a shaky smile. "It's so weird, bro. I like chicks, but I like dudes as well… what does that-"

"Then you're bi."

"I guess that's true… it's just… I'm not sure if I'm even okay with this, y'know?"

"I understand." Hajime placed a comforting hand on Kazuichi's shoulder, smiling over at him. "But it's okay. Like I said, I'm fine with all this. You don't need to worry."

Kazuichi grinned from ear to ear. "Thanks, dude. Your acceptance is enough for me."

"Anytime," Hajime replied. "Who knows, maybe we could end up together in the future."

"Damnit, don't give me hope for that!" Kazuichi laughed, and Hajime found himself laughing along with him before he knew it.


End file.
